“Panic at the thought of doing a thing is a challenge to do it.” ~Henry S. Haskins

“He has not learned the lesson of life who does not every day surmount a fear.”  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

I have a personal mantra that sometimes makes my life uncomfortable: if the idea of doing something scares me, it’s something that I need to do. Now, before I get myself in trouble, I’d better clarify right now that I’m speaking about emotional challenges only – those things that involve personal growth and change. I’m not going to take up skydiving or speed racing or probably even mountain climbing, although that is something that has always sounded fascinating to me.

So when my friend Johanna Harness informed me that she had signed up for a self portrait photography class, and that I ought to join her in this adventure, I was well and truly in trouble. I don’t like cameras and I’m not very good at taking pictures. I didn’t even have a camera until Christmas of this year, and have always relied on somebody else to take the important pictures. I also don’t like being seen in photographs. I’m one of those who hides in the back row, or turns my face the other way. My mother is shocked about this: apparently as a child I was eager to perform for the camera and always the first to get in front of the lens. I can’t recall any traumatic events, but something certainly shifted somewhere along the way.

Anyway. As Johanna well knew, I was now going to have to take the class in order to confront the fear. She has been bravely putting up her lovely photos for all the world to see. Yesterday somebody on Twitter – I do believe it was @barnstorm2004, commented that he was waiting for my self portrait photos to appear. I told him he’d be waiting a long time.

Uh oh. Something else that scares me. And so, here we go. I am posting some of my self portrait photos for your amusement and edification, or potentially for your ultimate boredom.  I don’t pretend for a moment that there is art involved here – just me learning to take chances. The class is called Wading In, and is just one of the offerings at Be Your Own Muse. Our assignment this week was to explore our life and our neighborhood with photos. The one requirement is that some part of my body needs to show up in every picture.

I thought I would share some of the things that I talk about a lot. Here is my morning companion and trouble maker, she whose name is not fit to utter in public:

Writer's helper

There. That was easy. The cat doesn’t mind pictures and it’s not too scary showing you all my hand. Another regular part of my morning is, of course, the mandatory mug of good coffee:

THE mug

And, of course, my beloved laptop:

Best Friend. Really

Getting a little braver, let’s venture outside. Reflected in this window we get me, my awesome dog, Riddick, and my beloved Avalanche:

Woman, dog, and pickup truck

Here’s another pic of my dog, just because he is so cool:

Riddick and Me

I’d like to leave it there, but I still haven’t done the thing I fear the most, which is a self portrait pic that is actually a self portrait. And so, against all better judgment, I leave you all with this:

Which brings us to the ultimate question – what one thing that scares you are you willing to try this week?

“Help! Help!” cried the Page when the sun got hot. “King Bidgood’s in the bathtub, and he won’t get out! Oh, who knows what to do?”

“I do!” cried the Queen when the sun got hot.

“Get out! It’s time to lunch!”

“Come in!” cried the King, with a yum, yum, yum. “Today we lunch in the tub!”

Audrey and Don Wood created one of my all-time favorite  picture books with King Bidgood’s in the Bathtub. When I read it to my kids (over and over) I loved the rich and fantastical illustrations along with the little boy giggles over the silly king who spends a whole day doing everything in the bathtub.

Looking at the book today, I’m thinking King Bidgood wasn’t so silly after all. What a lovely day he had, really – playing at battles, eating a meal, fishing, even dancing – in warm water and mounds of bubbles.

Now I’m not saying that I want to spend an entire day in my bathtub. I haven’t got the right sort of tub for one thing. It is much smaller than Bidgood’s, plus I have a limited supply of hot water and I certainly don’t have a page to bring me everything I want and desire the minute I want it. When I do get into the tub for a short interval, the other occupants of the house bang on the door and demand my exit, muttering things about needing to use the bathroom. They certainly don’t bring me things like Bidgood’s industrious Page.

That said, it seems to me that all of us get too caught up in Doing Things. We are constantly busy with all important matters of state. And they ARE important. I’m not denying that for a moment. We need money and shelter and food. Those of us who express ourselves artistically – through music, or words, or images – we also need to do this.

But I sometimes wonder if we wouldn’t be more productive if we gave ourselves permission every now and then to take a play day. I don’t know what that means for you – but something equivalent to a day where you refuse to get out of the tub, come what may. A day to mix it up a little and do things differently. If you write, maybe take a day to draw or make music. Play with crayons. Take random pictures. Go for a drive or a walk in a place you haven’t visited before. Do something unexpected.

I’ve been playing with the idea of taking a vacation day and going somewhere by myself – a local motel maybe – with no reason other than to just have a day with no demands, no expectations. A day where I could stay in the bathtub all day if I chose, or to read or write or nap, without any voices (real or in my head) criticizing this wasting of time. Maybe I’ll call it Taking a Bathtub Day.

What about you? What would you do on a Bathtub Day, if you could take one?

Last week I donned my armor and ventured out in search of magic.

Turns out it was right outside my front door.  Waiting for me. I’d forgotten this one thing about magic: it doesn’t (usually) jump up and down, waving gossamer wings and shouting, “look at me! Look at me!”  Not that it won’t ever do this, mind you. There are no rules when it comes to magic. But it has a tendency to wait in the dim places and only show itself to those who pay attention.

So what magical adventures have I had this week? Well, I will tell you some of them – three, because fairy tales are big on threes.

1. I went to a movie. In the city. By myself. It was the Voyage of the Dawn Treader and there was no reason whatsoever to choose it over something much more serious, and probably better, like True Grit. The kids were off doing other things. The Viking, who would have scoffed, was at home sound asleep. Of course, there were only something like three other people in the theater. I live with the Viking and three teenage man children, so you can imagine how often I get the remote. This was like a giant TV screen, all for me, uninterrupted by requests to sign this, or find that.

2. Magic Fairy Glitter Dust. Yep. For reals. My Twitter pal Jennifer, (you can follow her as @jennspiller) sent me my very own vial of fairy glitter dust. It came with instructions that made me laugh, and at one point in the last week I took said vial of glitter and sneaked off into the snowy ravine. And I might, maybe, have made a circle with the glitter in the snow, jumped inside it, and made a wish. Nobody will ever know for sure, because nobody was watching. As it turned out, the snow itself was much more sparkly than the glitter dust, and very magical without any help at all.

3. A brand new novel idea – one involving library dragons and witch librarians came to me by way of two other Twitter friends – Jeffe Kennedy and Laura Bickle. This was the sort of idea that had obviously been circling the planet, seeking a hospitable landing place. Laura lobbed it my way and it has made a little nest in my brain. Right now it is curled up asleep, with its tail wrapped around its nose, which is good because I’m busy revising a little something we call Gerry V. for short.

There has been a lot more magic than that. But it is bed time, and those on quest must sleep when opportunity permits. Please feel free to share your own magical adventures – the more we cherish it, the more it grows, and the less the Big Dark comes to haunt our doorways.